“I am a smart college educated woman.” How many times did I say those words? How many times have I heard those words? There are many words that make up the person I am. I am creative. I am caring. I am a survivor.
The list goes on… I first came to ScamHaters United broken. Confused and unsure I didn’t know what happened, why it happened, how it happened. I didn’t know where to go, what to do and I certainly didn’t think or feel I had any strength for the journey ahead. I was a shadow of my former self. I was fragile standing at the precipice - on the edge toward suicide.
“Matthew” with the full knowledge “he” had driven me a life loving person to this point left me with my dark thoughts and these final parting words “Well you have to do what you have to do.” All I wanted was to get back to the before. I whipped myself with shame and wondered how did I get here?
My entire world had imploded and I had kept up appearances through it all. How the [INSERT EXPLETIVE HERE] did I get here??? I didn’t yet understand that I had been through a compounded trauma of emotional, psychological and financial rape. I hadn’t yet learned about social engineering and how it molds the heart and the head within a narrative of deceit, or that there is a whole systemic ecosystem of darkness that supports those efforts.
I simply didn’t know Romance Scams were a thing and that a dating site offers no protection – far from it. ScamHaters United played a pivotal role in my recovery. They helped me to understand all the hows, the whys, the whats…
They helped me find my way back to me. Not the old me but to embrace the new me. To say the road was long and the work was hard is a vast understatement and there was no stopping for directions. They gave me their ear. They gave me their shoulder through it all.
They understood the ball of energy that sat in my chest. The need to stop the madness. The need to give what happened to me a purpose. Early on I had been very vocal about my story because I don’t want to see anyone go through what I had to in any way. I wanted to give others the safety and awareness I didn’t have. I was ready to be that wonder woman crusader to bring down these scams. It wasn’t long before I realized it takes a very large, very determined village to move the needle even a little in the right direction.
It was at this point that I was invited to join the ScamHaters United Team. I became a voice for the voiceless and a face for the victims of Romance Fraud. I became a guide through the storm of recovery so victims can understand they are not alone. I have been where they are.
I understand intimately the things they are thinking and feeling. I became living proof, the poster child that there is life after being scammed. Dreams resurrected I have rebuilt my life completely. These days I spend a majority of my time guiding victims through recovery and being a voice for those that have not yet found their own. Through my story I educate the public to avoid what I did not.
